Seriously, where the hell did these last 4 years go? I remember like it was yesterday sleeping on the couch of my freshman dorm because my roommate was an inconsiderate jerk. I thought college was going to seem a lot longer than this, and the worst part is I still have no clue about what I'm going to do.
I mean, yes I do know that I want to go into event planning/marketing and coordinate awesome events so people can have a great time, but there are still a lot of other questions. Like, am I going to stay here in Austin, or is there a chance for me to get a good job in New Orleans should I go back? If the majority of my friends leave Austin, how will I react to being left behind.
Back to the point I made about my friends. I pray to God that all of them become elite in their fields and become very successful and happy in life, but I'm scared of them out-growing me. I know this might come off a little selfish but I just don't want to be that guy who just comes home to an empty home everyday. The past 2 years would have been a living hell without them and the thought of moving on without them sucks.
And I know that people are going to read this and think that I'm just having a really low self-esteem day, but this is really how I feel. I wish there was some kind of manual that gave us a clue on what to do after college. TV gives us an idea, but really no guidance on how to start over from scratch.
Also, I don't want to end up at a job where I'm miserable every waking moment I'm there. I had that experience when I worked construction and I think I'll become this monster of a person if that became my everyday life.
I guess what I'm most scared of is the uncertainty that is looming after graduation, not only for my future but also the people I care about. What if everything that I planned for goes down the drain? What if I can't find a job because of the economy? I guess this just ties into my greatest fear of being alone with no one caring about me.
However, I realized that the only way I can prevent someone from throwing a wrench into my future is to be positive and do everything in my power to prevent the bad from happening. And just like all the other obstacles life has and will throw at us, we can defeat them. So, now that I overcame the assignment from hell (Sub 2 of Capstone), I can focus on seeing my friends and enjoying what many people say is the greatest moment of my life.
But I'm going to do them one better. I'm going to try to make every moment from this point on the greatest moment of my life. Every small thing is a blessing: when I see some random stranger and say hello, having a conversation about anything, and every breath of air I breath. You and I have to take advantage of these things because it's a shame not to and you never know when you won't be able to anymore.
Thanks for reading guys, and I'm sorry about the lack of posts. I've been preoccupied with Capstone and other school stuff, but I should be able to post more often now.
Corey
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